


Fissured

by Lucigoosey_The_Lightbringer



Series: Renegades (Steven Universe: Homeworld AU) [24]
Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Gen, I Am My Mom Gone Wrong, Major Character Injury, Renegades Steven Universe AU, cracked gem
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-30
Updated: 2021-02-01
Packaged: 2021-03-17 04:28:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,222
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29094264
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lucigoosey_The_Lightbringer/pseuds/Lucigoosey_The_Lightbringer
Summary: "Actually," Chevron interjected, and Amethyst narrowed her eyes, looking back up. The constant hum of her gem and the thrumming of pain just below the surface served as a steady reminder to try not to get too angry, but she wasn't sure how successful it was. "My Diamond wants you."| Post-IASU (I Am Steven Universe.)
Relationships: Amethyst & Pearl (Steven Universe), Amethyst & White Diamond (Steven Universe), Amethyst/Pearl (Steven Universe), Chevron & Amethyst (Steven Universe)
Series: Renegades (Steven Universe: Homeworld AU) [24]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1918204
Comments: 41
Kudos: 37





	1. Chapter 1

"-nobody would notice if you le- oh! Amethyst!"

Amethyst didn't stop, but she did turn her head slightly as Pearl rushed over to her, abandoning whatever conversation she'd been having with Lars with little more than a 'sorry, be right back!'. The purple Quartz managed a tired smile in the pale gem's direction, twisting her head around to look back at Lars briefly before dropping her gaze to the pieces of rubble she'd collected, the remains of broken buildings, towers and statues. She shifted them slightly, moving to make sure they weren't pressing against her gem, and flicked her gaze toward Pearl without turning her head as the gem fell into step beside her. "Did you see him? Did he say anything? Is he okay?"

"They're fine," Amethyst replied, shifting her grip once again and crushing some of the rubble a bit more to hold it better while she waited for her particular choice of words to, ah… sink in.

"They…?" Pearl was silent for a moment, looking puzzled, and Amethyst merely hummed a quiet confirmation as she came to a stop, passing off the crushed rubble she was holding to one of the Amethysts passing by. She brushed her hands off, watching bits of dust that had lingered fall from her fingers, and turned to face the taller gem completely. "Wait, you don't mean… _he…_ "

"The pink 'Steven', yeah." Amethyst shifted on her feet, shrugging. "Turns out he's _not_ Steven." Pearl only managed to look further mystified, and Amethyst couldn't bite back a smile on time. "They're brothers. Pink dude's name is Aster, apparently. At least they're keeping each other company." She paused, lifting a hand to rub at her face, then let it slide around to rub the back of her neck instead as she heaved out a quiet sigh. Pearl just looked down at her, brow furrowed. "Of course… ah… Steven's gem, uh… _their_ gem is kind of still… you know. Split."

Pearl's breath caught at that, pupils shrinking. " _What?"_

Amethyst grimaced, settling a hand over her chest for a moment. Instinctively, her shoulders flinched a little at Pearl's tone, at the panic look that flashed across her face, and years of experience had the small Quartz readying herself for a whole lotta screaming, maybe a 'why didn't you mention that _first?!'._ Not that she didn't love Pearl, she'd absolutely _die_ for the gem in front of her and that was a fact, but there was still a part of her that expected to be scolded. To be called 'irresponsible' or be blamed for this even though there's no way it was _her_ fault at all. Looking back, she realized - but not with any bitterness or resentment - such things had happened a lot. Like Pearl had just looked for any reason to be angry with her. Their relationship had taken such a drastic turn from what it used to be that she almost didn't… _recognize_ them.

Pearl, of course, surprised her yet again in the best way and Amethyst wondered, with a rush of irritation directed solely toward herself, why she even allowed such a thing to surprise her at all. "Oh… no…" The pale gem quieted for a moment, covering her face. "How… they're not _hurt?"_

"They said they weren't," Amethyst replied. "They didn't _seem_ hurt." She paused, thinking, and shook her head with a sigh. "No, I asked… they said they were okay. They seemed okay."

"Okay…" Pearl sighed, dropping her hands, though she held them tightly in front of her for a moment before letting them fall slack again. She looked down at the purple Quartz for a moment, then flicked her gaze down to where Amethyst's gem rested on her chest, hidden and secure beneath the tank top she was wearing. "And what about you? Are you okay? Your gem-"

"I," Amethyst interrupted, offering her a loving look before turning away to keep walking again. Pearl kept pace beside her, tense with worry. "Am fine. It's just an itty bitty little crack, not even an inch deep. More like a surface scratch." She puffed her cheeks out, looking down for a moment, but even she couldn't see her gem. She could certainly feel it, though. Especially now that she was paying attention to it, she could feel the pain thrumming through her system, a constant ache flushing through every facet in her gem, spread through every inch of her form. Another gem might have been on the ground, curled up in a fetal position, but for Amethyst…

… saying she was 'used to it' would have been an understatement.

"What?" Pearl sounded shocked. "You didn't ask Steven to heal it? Amethyst!"

There it was. The scolding, but, for good reason, the Quartz supposed. She rolled her eyes to the side and sighed, though not out of irritation. "Pearl, the kid just had his gem ripped out and shattered. I wasn't about to be like 'oh by the way can you do me a favor and heal _my_ gem?'."

"Now you know he would have _happily_ -"

" _If_ he _could_ , Pearl," Amethyst insisted, finally shooting her a glance from the corner of her eye. Pearl faltered a little at that, realizing where Amethyst was going with this before she'd even opened her mouth to continue. "You remember how fritzy his healing stuff used to be, right? Well, the kid just got shattered. Literally _shattered_. He's alive, and that's great! I- I'm _ecstatic_ that he's okay, Pearl, but his gem is split in _two_. And he's only got half of it now and I don't even know if his powers are working like they're supposed to, and the last thing I want is for him to try and heal me and not be able to and then… _you_ know how he spirals when he feels like he's…"

"Failed us," Pearl murmured, a pained look flitting across her face. She looked away from the small Quartz for a moment, staring ahead, and Amethyst let her shoulders droop. "Yes, I know."

"I just don't want to pile more on him than I have to." Amethyst fell silent for a moment, staring at the ground beneath her feet as she walked, and wrapped her arms around herself with a frown. "Not like I've never dealt with this kind of thing before. You remember how I used to crack all the time. Rose practically kept a vial of her tears on hand whenever…" She stopped, clenching her teeth, and swallowed hard with a soft, weary sigh. "It's been a while, but I still know how to handle it, okay? I know it's a pain in the ass, since we just got a handle on this stupid _defect_ -"

"Hey," Pearl interrupted sharply, resting a hand on her shoulder to pull her to a stop, and Amethyst reluctantly turned back to her with a grimace already twisting at her lips, flicking her gaze around furiously without quite meeting the pale gem's gaze. "This is not a _defect."_

Amethyst let out a quiet, strained sound in the back of her throat, a mixture of disagreement and amusement, and glanced up at her. "It's something wrong with me - actually _wrong_ , not just the height thing - that's not supposed to happen. I'd say that's pretty much the definition of what a _defect_ is." She fell silent for a moment, watching as Pearl's expression shifted, and sighed. "Look… it is what it is. I know I'm defective. I've come to terms with the whole thing. I'm just…"

Pearl softened, gazing down at her, then crouched down and reached out to take one of her hands. Amethyst looked down, silently curling her fingers with the taller gem's, and lifted her gaze as Pearl leaned in and pecked her on the lips with a mumble of, "I think you're perfect."

_("Defective?" Rose had laughed the first time Amethyst said the word in front of her, her shocked expression dissolving into something a little more strained, a little horrified, honestly, before it melted into a startling mixture of amusement and affection. She knelt down in front of the much smaller Quartz, brushing her curls from her face and reaching out to take Amethyst into her arms, and the purple gem was more than happy to reach her arms up to allow Rose to pick her up under the arms, holding her up in front of her face. "Oh, Amethyst, there's nothing wrong with you. There's so much emotion inside of you. So much love, and strength, and determination, and any gem would crack under the pressure of holding it in all the time."_

" _Even you?" Amethyst pinched her eyebrows together, glancing down at Rose's gem._

" _Especially me," Rose murmured. She held her close, then, arms wrapped tightly around the smaller Quartz, and Amethyst snuggled closer, keeping her eyes on Rose's gem for a moment. She lifted her gaze back to her face, however, when the pink gem hummed and continued, "you and I are different… maybe I don't crack like you, but that doesn't mean anything's wrong with you. And as long as we have a handle on it - which we do," she added, with a warm smile, as she pressed a finger to Amethyst's gem, "then everything is going to be just fine, Amethyst."_

_Amethyst gazed at her gem for a moment, glittering brightly now that Rose had healed the thin fracture that had grazed across the front, a quick, clean cut because she'd gotten too excited._

" _So I'm not a defect?"_

" _Stars, no," Rose laughed a little, hugging her close. "I think you're perfect exactly as you are.")_

Amethyst's gem hummed as a warning, a sharp ache bringing her mind back to the present, torn from the memory of one of the last times she'd cracked. One of the last times, because… she'd cracked when Rose disappeared (which they'd been prepared for, thanks to Garnet), and she hadn't cracked for fourteen years after that, not for _that_ reason, not until the night she'd watched Steven turn away from them and surrender himself to Homeworld, the night she'd let the last remnant of one of her best friends, of the gem who had been the closest thing to a 'mother' Amethyst had in human terms, slip away, the night she'd cursed and blamed herself for every misstep, every wrong move, every setback, every chance to attack that she didn't take…

Another burst of pain, another warning. Amethyst sucked in a breath, steadying herself, and met Pearl's concerned, wide blue eyes with a shaky smile. With all the pain bursting in her chest now, she was surprised that the crack wasn't any worse. And it wasn't; she didn't need to see it to know that. She'd be able to feel any slight difference, every deepening in the fissure of her gem. She'd grown accustomed to such a feeling, after all. She'd learned how to manage it.

At least, she thought she had.

"I love you," she murmured, and sucked in another breath. "But I can't… m'gonna crack more."

Pearl only nodded, understanding, and squeezed her hand once before standing up. Amethyst steadied herself, looking away, and her gaze caught a flash of purple as one of the Amethysts - Chevron, she knew now, that was her name, wasn't it? - headed over to them with a huge smile.

"Howdy! How's it going over here?"

"Fine," Pearl replied curtly, lacing her fingers with Amethyst's. The smaller Quartz just stared for a moment, glancing Chevron over silently. She remembered how Aster and Steven had reacted to the mere mention of her, how Steven's expression had shifted and Aster's eyes had hardened when he'd mumbled her name. She remembered seeing Steven and Chevron together during the battle, actually; they'd stuck close to each other for a little while, though Steven hadn't seemed particularly pleased with her presence. Something was going on there.

(And with how Steven had mentioned that Amethysts had tortured him before, on multiple occasions, Amethyst wasn't sure she was going to like what it was when it was revealed.)

For now, however, she simply set her jaw and looked away again. "Let's get back to work-"

"Actually," Chevron interjected, and Amethyst narrowed her eyes, looking back up. The constant hum of her gem and the thrumming of pain just below the surface served as a steady reminder to try not to get too angry, but she wasn't sure how successful it was. "My Diamond wants you."

A moment of silence passed. Amethyst raised an eyebrow, flicking her gaze down to the blue uniform Chevron was wearing, and narrowed her eyes. "Yeah, tell Blue to shove it up her-"

"Ah, no. Sorry." Chevron chuckled, and sighed. " _White_ Diamond wants you."

And there it was. White Diamond. Amethyst stiffened, tension and nausea and _something_ rolling through her like thunder, something painful and intense and strong enough that she could feel a subtle shift in the crack in her gem, along with a flare of pain that almost dissipated her form completely. Her hand twitched in Pearl's grasp, the only physical sign of her discomfort, but she was quick to release her grip and draw her hands closer to her chest, holding her gem through the fabric of her shirt as if the touch alone could keep the crack from getting any worse now.

White Diamond. The name alone made her dizzy, but that wasn't anything new.

"Oh," she mumbled, stomach clenching. She'd known this was inevitable. She didn't know how she knew it, but she knew from the moment she saw her, even just through that Pearl - first in Yellow's room and then a few days after she'd taken Steven - that there was some… kind of…

(She didn't want to think the word. The thought was too scary to finish.)

"No, no, no, no-" Pearl began, stepping closer to Amethyst. "No, that's- not-"

Chevron raised her eyebrows. Amethyst shook her head a little. "... I don't think there's much of a choice, P." She stopped, taking a deep breath, and let it out slowly. Then she looked at Chevron again, with renewed anger this time. Of course this was the Amethyst in White's court that Pearl and Steven had mentioned, the one that supposedly reminded Pearl of _her_ way-back-when, the one that had been in charge of Steven's punishments, the one that was, apparently, worse than Jasper. She wasn't sure how she hadn't put it together first, but now that she knew regardless, she was even more furious with the gem than she had been originally.

 _Deep breaths, Amethyst. Don't make that crack in your chest any worse, now,_ her mind warned, and her gem hummed again as if in agreement, another sharp ache only serving to steady her.

"I'll go." She took another breath, tilting her head toward Chevron. "Lead the way."


	2. Chapter 2

Amethyst fell into step with Chevron, and she didn't think she'd ever felt so… _out of place._

Hell, she felt more out of place on this planet than she'd ever felt on Earth, and that in itself was saying something. Earth was her home through and through, and even when she'd felt like she didn't _have_ a home _there_ , the planet in itself never ceased to be anything less. But she'd never quite thought about it like that before; the Earth was everything she'd ever known, so there was no reason to even _consider_ other planets. Even when she'd heard about Homeworld, and…

… well…

Learning about the Diamonds had… been… _something_. She'd never really heard 'stories', just brief mentions. Rose never spoke about them and what little information she could get from Pearl and Garnet (or _cared_ to receive from Pearl and Garnet, for that matter) hadn't really been enough for her to form any real opinion on them. They were the bad guys, the Crystal Gems were the good guys. And that was about as far as Amethyst's thoughts on the Diamonds went. Except, of course, for _one._ White Diamond. Oh, her name would get stuck in Amethyst's head on a loop for _days_ if she didn't figure out a way to distract herself from it. Thoughts of her would subside and rise again spontaneously, randomly, in short, fleeting bursts. With those thoughts came emotions Amethyst never really cared to look too deeply into. Though, she'd tried her best not to do that _anyways._

The constant ache in her chest and the crack in her gem was the biggest reason why.

She wished she could explain it, but she didn't know how. Thoughts of White Diamond would come and linger, and she'd feel… she'd feel something. She'd feel _everything_. Every emotion combined into one, a kind of pressure, a tug, a… an _instinct_. Yeah, that was it. It was an instinct. Impulse. Compulsion. For what, she still didn't know. She knew that it made her _uncomfortable._

The small Quartz sucked in a breath through her teeth and squeezed her eyes shut for a moment. With everything that had happened the past few days - _meeting_ White Diamond, the war, Steven getting _shattered_ , Steven surviving and then immediately being taken by White Diamond, and just, god, _everything, everything, everything_ \- she'd had so little time to _process_. Blue Diamond and her stupid fucking _powers_ had only served to make things worse in the long run. She'd be fine if not for that; she'd had a handle on her defect ever since Rose disappeared. That one crack after Steven had been taken had been a fluke, a loss of control. But Blue Diamond's powers might as well have been a weapon coming at her, one she couldn't dodge. All that negativity, all that emotion, all that _pain_. God, Amethyst had tried so hard to ignore it at first, but it only got stronger and stronger and stronger, and then finally she felt it, that pressure. That familiar pressure that built up in her gem, pushing from the inside out, until finally…

And now that she was cracked, it would be so, so, _so_ easy for even _one_ stray emotion to catch her off guard, so she had to watch herself. Either that, or she'd have to poof herself again.

(And, _ah_ , she didn't want to do that.)

She needed a distraction. Unfortunately, she figured the best one was probably the gem beside her, and although she really, truly, honestly wanted nothing to do with her at all, she'd suck it up for the time being for the sake of keeping that crack in her gem as small as she possibly could.

"So," she piped up, and Chevron's head turned toward her briefly as they walked, making their way through the crowds of gems cleaning up. Amethyst would have definitely given anything to be able to join them right then, instead of heading to where she knew damn well she was heading. Oh, she was not looking forward to this. She had a feeling she wouldn't be walking out of there with her gem intact. "Whyyyy… couldn't White just get me herself? With the bubble?"

Chevron huffed out a laugh, finally glancing at her. "I volunteered to get you myself."

"Oh, yeah?" Amethyst raised an eyebrow, trying not to feel too unsettled. "Why'ssat?"

"Honestly? I was curious." Chevron chuckled, raising a hand to run her fingers through her hair. Amethyst frowned at that, glancing away from her only to make sure she didn't trip over pieces of rubble still strewn across the ground, and listened without looking back up as she continued, "Iiii mean, I've never met another Amethyst like _me_ before, you know?"

"Like you?" Amethyst echoed, pursing her lips into a scowl for a moment. What a cruel, twisted joke it was - a long time ago, maybe, she'd have damn near _preened_ at the thought. Chevron was a bitch, after all, but she was much bigger and buff-er and probably even stronger than Amethyst was. A while ago, Amethyst would have taken such a thing as a compliment of sorts. Now she wanted nothing more than to beat this gem into a pulp and show her exactly where their ' _similarities'_ ended. The Quartz rolled her eyes, blowing her hair out of her face, and reminded herself once again not to get too worked up. "Uh, yeah, no. We're not the same."

Chevron hummed. "We're much more _alike_ than you think," she commented, stretching her arms behind her head as she walked. "You know, where it _really_ counts? Our gems, right?"

Amethyst snorted out a laugh despite herself, shooting her a dubious look before rooting her gaze ahead again. They weren't heading to White Diamond's ship or the palace… she slowed her pace a little, wariness rapidly taking hold, but she didn't say anything about it just yet.

"I'm not flattered," she responded. "You might be an Amethyst, but you are _not_ a Famethyst."

"Oh." Chevron pursed her lips. "You misunderstood."

Amethyst flicked her gaze to the side, eyes narrowing faintly. "What d'you mean?"

"Oh… nothing." Chevron waved a hand dismissively, flashing her another smile that made Amethyst want to pull her teeth out one by one. "My Diamond will enlighten you soon enough, I'm sure. I guess it's not really my place. After all, my orders were only to retrieve you." She paused, looking ahead of them. "I assume it has something to do with Steven and Aster."

Amethyst slowed to a stop, alarm rapidly replacing the irritation building up, and cast the other gem a long, wary look. Chevron slowed with her, turning with an almost expectant expression on her face while the smaller Quartz took a moment to get her emotions under control again, taking a deep breath to calm herself and trying to force some of the tension out of her form. Remembering that Chevron had been the first to visit them in the tower helped a little bit, though considering how averse they'd seemed to the mere thought of the other gem, Amethyst was quick to doubt the fact that Aster had introduced himself - and even quicker to doubt the thought that Steven would have. And then there was the fact that Chevron was even _using_ their names.

"You know who they are." It wasn't a question.

Chevron inclined her head, looking thoughtful for a moment. "I know… more than you think."

Amethyst pressed her lips into a thin line, glancing away. This conversation was heading into dangerous territory, and she didn't think she was going to like where it was going. She allowed herself, for a moment, to focus on the ache thrumming through her gemstone, the pain flushing through her form, and while it did little to ease the tension building up, it was an ever-so-subtle reminder that some distractions could very easily turn into the thing she needed to distract herself _from_. Sometimes she just needed to know when to back out of a situation. When it would be worth it to push her own luck. And now was one of the times she knew she couldn't risk it.

The distorted hum of her gem sang like sirens, a constant warning in itself. She didn't look at Chevron after that, adamantly staring past her, and replied with a simple, "let's keep going."

They did. And, finally, Amethyst realized why they weren't going to White Diamond's head ship, or the palace. Because she wasn't inside. She was on the other side of a cluster of buildings that had survived the war (and Amethyst couldn't help but feel some kind of relief when she saw it, despite the fact that she didn't have many feelings for the planet itself, because at least something other than the palace and White Diamond's ship and that _tower_ had survived it all).

She stepped over clumps of gem shards, ignored them for the sake of the stability of her own gem, and lifted her gaze to where White Diamond was standing, helping the other gems by picking up handful after handful of chunks of rubble from explosions that had taken down nearby buildings. The Quartz froze beside one of the structures still standing, and Chevron kept going.

White Diamond was-

_Magnificent._

_Breathtaking._

_Beautiful._

_Stunning._

The emotions that flushed through her were unparalleled. Blinding and fast and strong and Amethyst didn't stand a chance against them, not even for a second. Warmth spread through her completely, and her gem buzzed and hummed and glowed, whether in response to them or as a protest or a warning, Amethyst didn't know. But she did know she wasn't built for such a thing, and it only took a second for a rush of pain to shoot through her, quick like the crack and snap of a whip, and she bit down on her lip to keep back a gasp and blinked the tears out of her eyes as they came, feeling her form ripple and shift as it destabilized. She could feel herself distorting, a painful and dizzying experience, and everything around her became a blur of colors and a buzz of movement and life she was only half-aware of. Almost everything else had been completely flushed out by the pain crackling through her, and the emotions that had caused it.

The words her mind was supplying instinctively - _impulsively_ \- wasn't helping much either. Amethyst shuddered as each one passed through her head seamlessly, echoing around like words being screamed into an empty cavern, a bottomless pit. She was sure the cracks were spreading now, she was certain she was going to break and shatter under the force of whatever the _fuck_ she was feeling any second now, and yet she didn't. Somehow, she didn't. Somehow, when White Diamond turned toward her, as Chevron brought the small Quartz to her attention, she was stable. Aside from the crack in her gem, the pain flushing through her form and the fact that she felt ready to destabilize at any damn second now, somehow, she was standing _stable._

She met White Diamond's gaze, breath hitching on an inhale, and blinked the remaining tears out of her eyes and just stared. With her mouth open, mind whirring, gem buzzing, she stared.

White Diamond was-

_Radiant._

-terrifying-

_Exquisite._

-and Amethyst couldn't explain why-

_Elegant._

-but she could only describe what she was feeling now as complete and utter _adoration-_

_**Perfect.** _

-and dear god, it was going to be the death of her.


	3. Chapter 3

There was a moment of silence. White Diamond looked down at her, expression unreadable.

In those few seconds, Amethyst felt another tug, a drive, a compulsion. A sudden rush and tangling of impulses to move - her arms, more notably, wouldn't stay still. Every facet in her cracked gem was screaming at her to do that salute-thingy she'd seen Steven and the others do before, but she kept her arms rooted where they were, hands clasped firmly over her chest, both out of spite and the fear of doing it _wrong_. God, she felt like she was going to poof any second now. Her form was going to give out and it would be both a blessing and a curse. She didn't want to do that _now_ , to leave herself so completely and utterly defenseless when Pearl wasn't there, when Ruby and Sapphire wasn't there, when _Garnet_ wasn't there. She wanted Garnet right then, in that moment, than she ever had. This was a fucking _terrifying_ situation.

Even more terrifying was the realization that she had absolutely no idea why the hell White Diamond had even wanted her in the first place, and why she couldn't have just used that Pearl to talk to her like she had before, why she wanted to see her in _person_ , face to face. Why _now?_

She didn't like the direction her mind was turning in instinctively. She also didn't like the blank stare White Diamond had fixed on her, eyes darting across her body slowly, taking her all in.

Of course, she wasn't expecting the gem to light up, suddenly animated, suddenly _ecstatic._

"Ooh… my darling little Amethyst! Oh just _look_ at her Chevron, isn't she just _perfect?"_ Amethyst stiffened, leaning back a little on her feet as White Diamond stepped toward her - oh god she was so fucking big, too fucking big, she could crush her under her heel with one step and then she was completely done for and _wait what the fuck did she say 'perfect'?_ \- and crouched down low, extending a long, large hand toward the little Quartz, who sucked in a shaky gasp through her teeth and stilled completely. "I knew it would be much better face to face. Now I can get a _proper_ look at my sweet little gem," White Diamond crooned, and Amethyst stared up at her, pupils shrinking as she flicked her gaze across the taller gem's face, as another rush of pain split straight through her gem and managed to force out a whimper through clenched teeth.

Fear and infatuation battled in her chest, each one strong enough to shatter her on the spot. She was surprised by how stable she was right then, how those cracks hadn't spread like fire across her gemstone yet - actually, she was kind of scared to look and see what it looked like. Her chest shuddered as she breathed in again, hands pressed firmly over her gem, and cracked her mouth open soundlessly for a few seconds, unable to tear her gaze away from White at all.

White Diamond only smiled, thin, black lips curving upwards at the corners. Amethyst nearly screamed when she suddenly wrapped a hand around her, lifting her completely up off her feet; it took everything she had not to, clenching her teeth harder and lifting one of her hands from her chest to cover her mouth instead. She didn't like what she was feeling right then, not one bit. The adoration in itself was scary as it was, but she couldn't even begin to describe how much terror had flushed itself through her system all in one fell swoop the moment her eyes had met the larger gem's. She was going to crack, it was going to get worse, she needed a distraction-

"Chevron Amethyst, darling," White hummed, glancing back. "Take care of things here, yes?"

"Of course, my Diamond!"

Chevron Amethyst. _Chevron_ Amethyst? Amethyst felt her throat tighten a little despite herself, but she still couldn't move her gaze from White's face. She'd thought Chevron was just a _nickname_ \- which honestly spoke about how little she knew about Homeworld and other gems in general if she was being completely honest but that particular debate could wait until later - but if she was just a completely different kind of Amethyst in general, a different kind of _Quartz_ in general… the purple gem shuddered, finally managing to squeeze her eyes shut, which gave her just a little bit of clarity. Okay, she needed to calm down. She needed to calm down and _think_. She couldn't let herself get like this. Letting herself get like this was dangerous for her. Especially now, when she was already so close to cracking and breaking apart as it was. That little crack on her gem had spread, she'd _felt_ it, but she didn't know how big it was and it didn't really matter, because even that tiny little 'surface scratch' had been far too big for comfort.

"I do apologize if I interrupted something," White said suddenly, and Amethyst dared to crack an eye open and look up at her again. The sight of the gem managed to steal her breath away as if it were the first time she was seeing her all over again. "But we needed a chance to talk! I've been absolutely _dying_ to see you properly, you know." She grinned down at the small Quartz, and Amethyst sucked in another sharp breath through her teeth, staring numbly for a moment.

She was still in her hand. The purple gem glanced down, briefly peering toward the ground. She wasn't scared of heights (that was probably the least scariest thing about this situation actually) but she still couldn't help but cringe at how high up she was, if only because it really, really emphasized just exactly how tall White Diamond was, and, again, how easily she could kill her. Unconsciously, she curled her fingers against White's hand below her, and tried not to tense up too much when she felt the larger gem's fingers wrap around her a little tighter, almost… gentle.

"I'm not going to drop you," White assured, her voice even softer now, even fonder, and Amethyst's mind whirled dangerously as she looked back up at her. "I wouldn't _dream_ of it."

"Thank you," Amethyst breathed without her permission, and tensed up all over again. White only huffed out a laugh and smiled as she walked, sparing her a startlingly affectionate look, and the small Quartz clenched her teeth and swallowed as she tried to make sense of the situation.

"Unfortunately, we're gonna have to cut this a little short," White continued, letting out a quiet hum and curling her lips into a brief frown. Amethyst took another breath and let it out in a soft huff as her fear suddenly diminished and slipped away, leaving her only with that warm feeling spreading through every inch of her form. She wasn't sure she preferred that infatuation to the terror, but she certainly wasn't about to complain about the loss of _one_ of the two emotions that could break her apart if she let that pressure building up in her gem get any stronger now. "I would have done this sooner, but I've been rather busy… and I'm certainly going to be even busier once the repairs actually start. And you're going to be rather busy yourself, I assume, because I'm sure you're going to be spending a lot more time in the tower with our dear Pink." She paused, and Amethyst startled a little, looking back up at her. "Well… _Pinks_ , I suppose."

"Yeah," Amethyst mumbled, steadying herself and shaking her head to clear it. "About that-"

"I know," White hummed, and Amethyst briefly snapped her gaze away as they entered the palace. She blinked, gazing ahead at the thrones for a moment, eyes lifting up to the tallest one - the white one, hah, of course - before looking back at the Diamond. "Don't worry, little gem-"

_("Don't worry, little gem." Garnet pressed a finger against her gem, warm and soothing, and Amethyst gazed up at her, wide-eyed with awe and excitement. "Everything will be alright.")_

"-I'll see to it that you have as much access to go back and forth as you please," White was saying, and Amethyst blinked a few times as she focused again, rapidly readjusting to the present as she tilted her head back to look back up at the taller gem in surprise. "After all, someone's got to make sure they're well taken care of - they're being punished, of course, but that's certainly no reason to neglect their well-being." A slightly sour look crossed her face suddenly, and Amethyst furrowed her eyebrows. "It's not as if I want to _hurt_ them, after all." Amethyst took a deep breath, sweeping her gaze around as they came to a stop. She looked down as both of White's hands curled underneath her now, lifting her up a little, face to face. "Contrary to popular belief, my darling Amethyst, I'm not as cruel as others think."

Amethyst hesitated, silent for a moment. She hated that a part of her, even the smallest part, wanted to agree with that. Hell, she wasn't torturing them, was she? All things considered, it could be much worse than being locked away in a tower. At least they were eating and drinking and sleeping. At least White _was_ providing them with the things they needed. And yet, still…

… she wasn't stupid. She knew what _manipulation_ looked like.

And this had manipulation written all over it.

"At least, not as cruel as Blue," White muttered. "I wouldn't lock them up and leave them completely alone without the necessities they need to be able to survive and _function."_

Amethyst stared at her, stomach seizing and twisting violently. "What?"

White let out a quiet hum, crossing the room to sit down on her throne. She kept Amethyst steady in one hand still, lifted up to be able to look her in the eyes without tilting her head back. "Oh, yes, Blue's punishments, I've heard, were much worse. She'd leave Pink alone for weeks, both then and now. Just throw her into the tower, or whatever room was _convenient_ for her, and cage her like some human in the zoo." She rolled her eyes, and Amethyst just stared, appalled. "Of course, I punished her myself all those years ago, but I never left her _all_ alone. Well… maybe for a day. But never for weeks and months. Stars, I could never bring myself to just turn and leave her by herself without checking on her every now and again. She never took well to…" She stopped, pausing, and glanced down at the small Quartz, eyebrows furrowing slightly. "Well, regardless. I'm going to be busy, and I know they're both rather fond of you, so I don't see any reason not to allow you to go in and care for them for the remainder of their punishment."

Amethyst didn't say anything immediately. She opened and closed her mouth, her mind struggling to form the words she wanted to say. Even now, she realized with a harsh ache in her gem, even now, there were things about Steven's time on Homeworld she still didn't know. They'd locked him up? Left him alone? Even when they'd had to go on missions and leave him in the house, Amethyst knew there was an entire town beyond the beach to keep him company. The city was right there whenever he wanted to venture into it, and Greg was never far away.

(And she'd _still_ felt bad when they had to leave, even knowing, logically, he was never _alone.)_

White peered down at her, eyebrows furrowed. "Are you alright?"

"I-" Amethyst paused, jaw working for a moment, and shook her head a little. "I'm just…"

Processing. Oh, all of this was impossible to process. First, whatever the hell was going on with her and White. White calling her _hers_. Her darling little Amethyst. Her precious little gem. That alone, she'd struggled not to give too much thought to because she knew it was dangerous. _This_ was dangerous. Thinking about whatever Homeworld had done to Steven was _dangerous._

Being this close to White Diamond, feeling all of these _emotions_ and finding out all of these things, it was _dangerous_. The Quartz swallowed, covering her gem, and shook her head again.

"Oh!" White lit up again, eyes widening slightly with a realization, and reached a finger up to her. Amethyst gasped a little as a long, sharp, black nail pressed against her chest, pupils shrinking as she glanced downwards, as a rush of fear that didn't really feel like her own enveloped her. "Of course, silly me, I got so distracted. I can be so forgetful. _This_ is why I wanted to see you. This…" She tugged Amethyst's shirt down a little, and the only thing keeping the smaller gem from scooting herself backwards was the fact that White's other hand was curled around her, keeping her from moving too much. Gentle, but restricting. That alone made her tense again.

"I- um-"

"It's alright, dear," White shushed her, eyes glittering. "I'm your Diamond. You can trust me."

The words stole her breath away, horrified as she lifted her gaze up to the taller gem, feeling like someone had grabbed her by the throat and was squeezing as tight as they could. Her gem ached and buzzed and hummed, warped and distorted and nothing like the usually gentle chime that it often sang, and she felt her form retract and flicker as another crack of pain rolled through her. White merely reached another finger out, pressing the tip against her gem, and frowned. "Goodness, this _is_ bad… I imagine it hurts quite a bit, you poor thing. But, no matter…"

Amethyst looked down, not to see the gem, but just to see what White was doing, why she was even touching her gem to begin with. She didn't like it. She couldn't explain what it felt like, but it was all wrong. This was all wrong. It was warm, and gentle, and so, so fucking uncomfortable.

White's finger glowed, a gentle, steady flicker, like a white flame. Heat seared through her gem, seeping through the cracks, and the Quartz sucked in a gasp, feeling them mend themselves.

"Good as new," White murmured, and it _was._

Stars above, it _was_.

She stared down for a moment, even long after White had pulled her hand back. Her mind whirled for a second, staring at her gem; the crack that had spread up from the bottom, a quick, clear cut, it was gone. Her gem sparkled and glittered as brightly as if it had never been cracked, and that warm feeling continued to linger as her form stabilized completely, as the tension holding her body taut finally faded, as the pain that had spread through every inch of her finally fizzled away into nothingness. The bliss she felt in response was enough to make her body fall slack completely, sinking back against White's hand with a quiet, slow exhale of relief.

White giggled, pressing a finger against her cheek, stroking like one would pet an animal. The contact felt off, but it felt warm, and it was comforting and terrifying and breathtaking all at once. "Oh, I know, my poor, precious little gem. You're alright now. Doesn't that feel much better?"

"My Diamond," Amethyst mumbled, swallowing, and breathed in. "You said you were my-"

"Mmhm." White grinned down at her, teeth glinting as they reflected the light above them, as Amethyst stared up at her. "I am your Diamond, dear. I've always been your Diamond. You were created just for me - my perfect little gift-" She raised a finger, pressing it against Amethyst's nose, and the small Quartz jerked a little at the touch, "-from my dearest little Pink, herself."

She stiffened, a mixture of emotions swirling in her chest - confusion, pain, horror, _betrayal?_ \- and she struggled against them all for a moment. She didn't want to crack again. She couldn't-

_From Pink?_

_From_ _**Rose** _ _?_

"Now, then…" White looked past her, toward the door, and a sad smile suddenly crossed her face, a longing look flickering through her eyes briefly, before she rooted her gaze back to Amethyst again. "I do believe it's time to get back to work. We've both got much to do now." She lowered her hand, depositing Amethyst carefully on the arm of the throne, and the small Quartz briefly looked down to make sure she was steady and stable before she lifted her gaze again.

White smiled, tapping her head gently with her pinkie finger, and cooed, "until we meet again."

Amethyst stared until the bubble wrapped around her, and she couldn't see her anymore, and silently pressed the back of her hand against her mouth, pupils shrinking as she looked down.

White Diamond was…

_Royal._

_Amazing._

_Extraordinary._

_Marvelous._

… _her_ Diamond.


End file.
